Doubt, Hesitation, Perfection
Kuya R. and Ate S. @ Moira in MTL 2024
It has been five months since I first started working on this website.
And in that time, I’ve come to realize something: I’ve been letting my desire for perfection keep me from moving forward.
The perfect template.
The perfect Instagram feed.
The perfect “launch” for this site.
But enough of that. Perfection isn’t the point. I’ll do this the way I envision it, the way it was meant to be — imperfect but real.
A few months ago, on a cold winter day in February, I had one of the most inspiring conversations with a friend, a kuya. In all honesty, I’m pretty sure it was one of those life-saving conversations. Life-saving in the sense that, months before, I had been rotting away at home after losing the job I've prayed for and dreamed of doing.
This was the kind of conversation where two people, both deeply passionate about their crafts, just bounce off each other for hours. There was a lot of advice and wisdom that kuya shared with me that day. One of them stuck with me the most. He said, “Ruddy just put your work out there, start posting more, look i’m pretty sure you could do what this page does, but even better”
It wasn’t a grand speech, it was real. Simple words filled with reassurance. His belief in my talent, something I had forgotten after months of moping, reignited a fire in me. This conversation became the spark for this new post-graduate life.
Fast forward to now, one of my biggest struggles has been doubt. The ugly habit of comparison.
Comparison isn’t always bad; it can push us to improve. But it becomes toxic when it stops you from moving, when you start believing the whispers of doubt; that your work isn’t good enough, and never will be, because someone else seems to do it better.
I’ve always known I can’t be better than everyone else — and honestly, that was never my goal. I’ve always wanted my art to stay true to moments: to capture raw, candid life as it unfolds. To tell stories through the lens. Yet I couldn’t help but look at the works of others and believe mine were not on par. I’ve always known this, and I’ve accepted it too, but sometimes I need the reminder. Everyone is a creator, an artist in their own way. The goal has never been to outdo others, but to keep doing what I love: to capture moments as I witness them, and to continue refining and growing in my craft.
And despite all this, I have countless folders filled with unshared photos, all because I keep listening to that whisper: “You could’ve done better”.
Honestly, I believe this is the challenge every artist is, for lack of a better word, cursed with. It’s our biggest struggle, instead of learning to be satisfied with what we’ve made, we chase perfection. The hard truth is, perfection doesn’t exist. Well, God is, but our works can never.
What they can be is perfect for the time and stage we find ourselves in. Our art evolves as our craft grows, both journeying side by side. Yes, we could always do better, but how would we know unless we let our art speak for itself? We shouldn’t let this stop us from sharing our works. We can’t keep our art hidden if we want to grow.
It took me a while to finally come to terms with this, doubts are valid. There is no escaping them, they are a constant in our lives. The question now is, do we allow them to eat us alive, or will we use them to move us forward?
There will always be someone better than you, in every field, in every way. That’s just life.
So we have two choices:
Mope around and drown in hesitation.
Or get up, learn, practice, and keep improving.
Let your doubts inspire you, not defeat you.
So what now?
I move forward. And that starts with allowing my art to speak for itself.
I stop questioning if these are perfect enough for the world to see. Instead, I share what life has allowed me to witness, what I’ve been blessed enough to receive.
Because as an artist, it has always been my hope to inspire others, and how can I do that if I keep my works to myself, posting only every few months?
Embrace imperfections, allow yourself to be honest. Because at the end of the day, you have a talent worth sharing.
Life Unfolds,
Ruddy
p.s Thank you kuya, alam mo na.
